Heaven Help Us

So today I visited one of our top two pre-school picks for H&M: Wagon Wheel School. When on earth did getting into pre-school become harder than getting into Harvard? (That is NOT hyperbole, btw.) If you want to know what we're up against, just read this LA Times article.

Anyway, our friend/designer Jennifer was kind enough to give me a tour (her kids go there) and introduce me to the owner, Ruth, and Ruth's right-hand, Carol (who apparently is the one who really makes things happen around there).

The place is really sweet... it's built around four little houses with open play areas in the middle. I really loved it and got a great vibe. Plus it's a really decent "feeder" school for many of the other private schools in LA (i.e., get in here and you have a much better chnace of getting into a good K-8 private school).

So I go upstairs to the office to get an application and sitting on Carol's desk is a postcard of a little girl with the caption, "Please make a spot for me!" I turned it over and there was a handwritten note that said, "We love your school! If an opening becomes available, please consider us!" I was astonished, to say the least, and THEN Carol proceeded to tell me that the postcard had been accompanied by an orchid AND two other gifts. I immediately asked her favorite color.

Carol proceeded to walk me through "the drill" -- what we have to do, by when, whose arses we need to kiss, etc. Then Jennifer told her we had twins. I kid you not -- Carol just stopped talking and starred at me for five seconds, looking like she wanted to kill me. "Oh, no," she said. "Twins are SO HARD to get in." She kind of laughed, sort of in pity and sort of like a prison guard laughs at someone ready to be sent off to solitary. I literally peed my pants.

If you are so inclined, you might start praying now. Otherwise they are bound for trade school and beauty college.